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Monday, 21 November 2016 00:47

What are some ways to overcome shyness when speaking?

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Each Time We Face Our FearAt its essence, shyness is merely a lack of self-confidence and skills to use in social settings. Difficulty in public speaking, whether it be to larger groups of people or even to smaller groups, is also related to a lack of self-confidence and a lack of skills.

Therefore, the easy answer is to increase your self-confidence and your public speaking skills. Easy to define but it takes a lot of work to make it happen. A lot of work, but readily achievable.

Assuming you are over the age of 18, finding and joining a local Toastmasters group can go a long way in reducing your shyness and increasing your self-confidence.

Your fellow Toastmaster members will help you become more self-confident by providing you many different styles of speaking opportunities. By speaking more often, in different situations, you desensitize your feelings of anxiety. Eventually, with enough speaking opportunities, your lack of fear gets neutralized and you can start creating speaking skills.

You can also help reduce your shyness by taking chances and talking to people more often. After a conversation, when alone, try to review the conversation. What worked for you? Were you understandable? When you said something, did the other person understand you or did you confuse them?

You can’t learn to be unshy by osmosis. You can’t read about it. You have to get out there and do something about it.

It is often said that practice makes perfect. Its not true. If you keep making mistakes or repeating actions that are ineffective, you just get better at making mistakes or being ineffective. You need someone to provide you with constructive feedback. This is where someone gives you an evaluation of what worked, what didn’t work and provide you with some suggestions to improve next time.

This is where a Toastmasters club comes in. They are a good source of constructive feedback.

You might also try emulating the socializing/speaking style of someone in your sphere of connections until you develop your own. I know all this to be true because it has worked for me.

Thanks for your question. Good luck with your journey of building your self-confidence.

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Rae Stonehouse

Author Bio:

Rae A. Stonehouse is a Canadian born author & speaker. His professional career as a Registered Nurse working predominantly in psychiatry/mental health, has spanned four decades.

Rae has embraced the principal of CANEI (Constant and Never-ending Improvement) as promoted by thought leaders such as Tony Robbins and brings that philosophy to each of his publications and presentations.

Rae has dedicated the latter segment of his journey through life to overcoming his personal inhibitions. As a 20+ year member of Toastmasters International he has systematically built his self-confidence and communicating ability. He is passionate about sharing his lessons with his readers and listeners. His publications thus far are of the self-help, self-improvement genre and systematically offer valuable sage advice on a specific topic. He is a long-time member of Kelowna Flying Solo Toastmasters and is the driving force behind its long-term success. 

His writing style can be described as being conversational. As an author Rae strives to have a one-to-one conversation with each of his readers, very much like having your own personal self-development coach. Rae is known for having a wry sense of humour that features in his publications.

Author of Self-Help Downloadable E-Books:

Power Networking for Shy PeoplePower Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly!

PROtect Yourself!PROtect Yourself! Empowering Tips & Techniques for Personal Safety: A Practical Violence Prevention Manual for Healthcare Workers.

E=Emcee SquaredE=Emcee SquaredTips & Techniques to Becoming a Dynamic Master of Ceremonies.

Power of PromotionPower of Promotion: On-line Marketing for Toastmasters Club Growth


Phone Rae 250-451-6564 or

Rae’s social … are you?


Linkedin? Rae is

Copyright 2015 & 2016 Rae Stonehouse. The above document may be freely copied and distributed as long as the author’s name and contact info remain attached.

To learn more about Rae A. Stonehouse, visit the Wonderful World of Rae Stonehouse at http://raestonehouse.com

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